Friday, December 04, 2015

Facing the Unknown

It's incredible how life can change so quickly. Three weeks ago my brother-in-law was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This came out of the blue. No past indications suggested anything was wrong with him. Otherwise healthy, a general weakness occurred on his left side and two days later he's in the hospital talking to a neurosurgeon about a craniotomy. Four days later he was operated on and three days after that he was home recovering. With full speech and mobility intact, he bounced back very quickly. We were all so encouraged by his progress. His positive attitude and outlook so very inspiring and assuring.

Yesterday, he received news of the biopsy done on the tumour. It was confirmed that it is the nastiest type of brain tumour. The phrase "life's a bitch and then you die" rang through my mind as I witnessed all of this. How unfair life seems to be especially to those that have spent their life doing good, being good, spreading goodness everywhere they go. My brother-in-law is a good guy! A family man, lovingly devoted to his wife, family and friends: an example of the best of humanity. Why this is happening to him is a question that I know we will never get the answer to on this side of life.

Life can change so quickly. One day you are thinking about where you will be in a year, what retirement will look like, who your next dinner guests will be and what to buy your loved ones for Christmas, and the next you are wondering if you will even be around next Christmas? How can any of us prepare for what we don't know? It's just not possible. As much as we can plan and anticipate what we want to do in the future, life can give you a turn and re-arrange all your thoughts and priorities.

One thing I do know is that when mortality stares us right in the face, we draw on what lies deep in our soul to carry us through. For my brother-in-law, its his faith that is giving him the strength to face what now lies ahead. Knowing that much of this is out of his control, I see him grasping for what he has control over and then trusting God for the rest that lies beyond his grasp. I see in him a resolve to accept what will come, not by laying down but by fighting his way through. As a family, we have resolved to fight along with him. We are also digging deep into our faith to carry us through. If it were dependent on sheer will to keep him here with us, there is enough will to sustain him for years to come.

The irony in all of this is that bad news rallies families together. We have gone into support mode. Anything we can do to help out, anything we can do to bring some relief, anything we can say to encourage and convey our love, we are there to offer it. If only we could all take a piece of his pain and endure it for him, we would do it. In the face of the unknown, family is the foundation bedrock of of our society. Family supports us, loves us, cheers us on, and carries us! I know not all families are like this so I'm grateful that I married into one that is. This is the ideal - what families should be! Knowing that we can't control what will come to us out of the blue, we can work to build families that support each other through thick and thin.

In the face of the unknown, my advice is this: love unconditionally, cherish all those that are in your life, make friendships and keep them, build relationships that will endure whatever might come, and remember to enjoy your life in the present and share it with as many as you can. You never know what lies in the future; that kind of information lies well beyond us. Leaving it in the hands of the divine is the wise choice. Living life to the full and for others should be both our mission and our joy. This we do knowing that when the unknown hits us with full clarity, we have family and friends that can take the journey with us.